Saturday 06th February 2016,
Huyen Chip

Why nobody in Vietnam will love me

Chip January 10, 2014 Asia, Cultures, Fun, Vietnam 11 Comments
Why nobody in Vietnam will love me

(Expanded from a debate on Facebook)

As I talked to my parents recently, they are very anxious that I find a boyfriend because they are afraid nobody in Vietnam will marry me. The reasons are simple.

Because in Vietnam, I’m ugly

Admit it, to love somebody, first you have to find that person attractive. However, the definition of beauty is dramatically different from a culture to another. We Vietnamese always think that the Westerners have a weird taste. In Vietnam, we have a fixed guideline to beauty which means you have to look like this, like that to be considered beautiful. For example, a girl has to have fair skin, long black hair, pigeon’s eyes, etc. An English friend of mine who has been to Vietnam once complained that all the girls in Vietnam have exactly one hairstyle. In Western culture, they like those who look a bit different.

When I was in Vietnam, I was very insecure about my look. People constantly made fun of my wavy fluffy hair, my round face. My Mom was so disappointed to find out that I’m so tanned that my skin looks as dark as buffalo skin. A newspaper once wrote about me something like: “She might not have beauty but she has guts” (assholes, yess >”<).

Because in Vietnam, I’m domestically incapable

In Vietnam, girls are supposed to all the housework. When I was in Vietnam, whenever we had a celebration, my female cousins and I would have to wash all the dishes and cook all the food while all the boys just hung around playing cards or doing all kinds of mischief. If I asked my Mom why my brother didn’t have to work, she would scold me: “You are a girl, don’t ask such a silly question. People will laugh at you if you do.” (!!??).

So now, I have a resentment against housework and lazy men. I don’t mind doing things for myself, but I would never do everything while my boyfriend just sat there and played video games. People say that a lot of Vietnamese men nowadays are more open-minded. But who wouldn’t want a girlfriend that his family and friends think of as “đảm đang”, or I call it “domestically capable”? Try to take home a girl that his family can’t use as a domestic slave you will know.

Because in Vietnam, I’m corrupt

In Vietnam, girls are supposed to keep a low profile, to always be soft and meek. I’m outspoken, I don’t give a damn to mannerism. My family thinks that my body-painting photo is a shame. A Vietnamese guy few year older than me called me “ill-bred” just because I dared to argue with him.

Every time I call home, my Mom always asks: “Are you still a good girl. Everybody (in our hometown) is saying that only bad girls can travel that much.” Ha, I have no idea how they define “bad”, or I can’t see any correlation between “traveling” and “being a bad girl”, but apparently, a lot of rednecks believe that I’m a waste. In Vietnam, if a girl drinks alcohol, she’s spoilt. If she smokes, she has no hope. If she goes clubbing, she’s a whore. If she travels like me, she is a combination of all 3 things mentioned above.

So yeah, I’m doomed.

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About The Author

I travel with a rice cooker


  1. Trần Huy Cảnh November 22, 2013 at 2:54 am

    -__- cái gì mà nobody will love me. đẹp gái thông minh, năng động nãy thấy chip up cái boy friend wanted. Định vô apply rồi nhưng hông đủ tiêu chuẩn. cao 1 m 75 T_T cao 1 m 55. Chơi thể thao T_T hông có. Hâm mộ quá trời mà không một lần được rely. Mà nè có bán sách tiếng Anh Không C có mấy người bạn muốn kiếm mua

  2. Drew December 30, 2013 at 3:45 am

    I think your hott :) Your tan lines won’t scare me although I get the impression in Vietnam all the girls cover their skin to avoid tans.

    No matter how good for each other two people are they do have to be “attracted” to each other strongly. I tend to get the moms who love me for their daughters but I’m not bad enough for their daughters lol. Can’t date the moms. On to reading your boyfriend application now.

    America wants men to be Ken barbie dolls. It seems like were constantly supposed to be on steroids and raging extroverts. Your site looks cool. Best Wishes. Hmm…;)

    • Chip March 19, 2014 at 10:38 pm

      Haha thanks a lot Drew. Don’t worry, there are plenty of hot single moms out there ;)

      • Drew March 20, 2014 at 12:01 am

        yeah I guess you can say single moms are feminine … I’ll start looking now :)

  3. Eric April 17, 2014 at 11:03 am

    I think you are smart but you are arrogant at the same time. I have studied Anthropology for a long time and I think you have pretty poor judgement about our own culture. It varies from region to region in Vietnam, especially the North and South. The language you use justify our culture as a whole but the characteristic is not general.. That gets many people upset about you because it didnt happen in their case. I suggest if you want to express yourself , your point of view, you should make it obvious that “you think” and specifice details rather than generalize it.

  4. Ricky May 12, 2014 at 7:50 am

    chip xinh mà.đọc sách của chip biết có những lúc chip nói hơi cường điệu vì mình cũng đi được vài nơi rùi.nhưng vẫn yêu chip.yêu chip nhiều lắm.nhiều lắm luôn.

  5. nam phung May 18, 2014 at 11:38 pm

    i don’t care, i love you

  6. Sky September 16, 2014 at 8:49 pm

    I laughed so hard after having read all your words. Do you know what I just thought?
    People and some stupid newspaper claimed that the two books written by you so far were just based on your imagination as much there were some real parts.
    But I completely believed all what you had written on your books. You know why? After reading your first book, I immediately fell to a wonderful dream that one day I would travel and explore the world as much as you’ve done. Because you’ve given me the courage, the belief to see life ‘less anxiety, less danger stuff and fewer bad people. I might be crazy, but you might be crazier because we all believe in ourselves, believe in ‘what we promise lead to what we have to do’.
    I know you might be upset to read all the stupid, ‘vegetable’ newspaper, comments bla bla bla but just go ahead ! Don’t ever stop moving to concern about complaints.
    And you know I totally agree with your perspectives about Vietnamese’s behaviour and action. Because they dont have the bravery you have. They’re too negative to be able to achieve a great thing like you’ve done.

    I always love a girl who loves travelling, takes care of herself, independent and never loses her heart because of the criticism of jealous idiots.

    I’m a young man about to enter life with a pure heart. Thanks for your books to keep me the courage.
    whatever, I always admire you, sis !

  7. Quynh January 12, 2015 at 12:56 pm

    In Vietnam, I don’t own a house in Hanoi or any city, I am doomed too.

  8. Yui February 26, 2015 at 4:46 pm

    Hey, I totally agree with you! Yeah me as well! There were many times that I heard sth such as “ill-bred”, “spoilt” or whatsoever. However I just don’t fucking care. Just go my own way. I’ve just spent my trip all alone and everyone thought that I was eccentric, quirky or etc. But so what, who’s gonna fucking care about what they say or what they think? I love your viewpoint! I also think there’s no one here are gonna love me or treat me fair, and frankly speaking, I don’t have special feeling with most of VN guys, either. I don’t care about nationality, but, for those who I have met, I don’t have love for them. As many countries as you come, you can meet many kind of people, it will make your best choice, both friends and lover! ^.<~

  9. Hoàng Nhung November 29, 2015 at 12:22 pm

    Em phục chị lắm… Chip ạ
    Em tình cờ vào một quán cafe
    Tình cờ gọi một ly cappu cho buổi sáng chủ nhật rảnh rỗi
    Và cũng tình cờ với tay lấy trên giá sách cuốn “Xách ba lô lên và đi”
    Haizzz… Em không biết mình có thể đi được những nơi chị đã từng đi hay không. Nhưng em đã cảm nhận được những nơi đó…
    Chip ạ, chị thật dũng cảm, tự tin, dám nghĩ dám làm
    Chị tạo dựng một hình tượng con gái Việt Nam hoàn toàn khác với bạn bè các dân tộc khác
    Cảm xúc lúc này của em là gì nhỉ???
    Tự dưng muốn đi khắp học cấp tốc thật nhiều thứ tiếng, muốn gặp và kết bạn với thật nhiều bạn, tự dưng lên GG search Couchserfing và tự dưng điên cuồng tìm twitter của chị <3
    Em làm tất cả những điều ấy chỉ để nuôi dưỡng giấc mơ mà trước đây em cho là GÀN DỞ, không thể nào thực hiện được: Đi vòng quanh thế giới. Em cứ nghĩ rằng mình phải là siêu nhân, phải có thật nhiều tiền, phải thật rảnh rỗi mới có thể đi khắp nơi làm những gì mình thích. Nhưng bất ngờ em tìm thấy chị, chị giải đáp tất cả những abwn khoăn thắc mắc của em về cái giấc mơ to lớn ấy. Vâng, thật sự là TO LỚN.
    Cảm ơn chị, người đã truyền cảm hứng cho em mặc dù có lẽ chị không biết điều đó. Chị là quá tuyệt với em.
    Em tin một ngày không xa, em sẽ cố gắng đến một trong số những nơi chị đã qua, cảm nhận nó, cảm nhận một cách chân thật, chứ không phải là tưởng tượng qua lời văn của chị.
    Yêu chị <3 <3 <3

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